The Cinema; A Happy Place Until You Let Seth Rogen In


Ruby’s Bar, Dalston Credit My Halfpenny’s Worth, 2013

A trip to the cinema has always been an exciting experience for me. It reminds me of the school holidays growing up where mum would pay for us and a couple of friends to go see a movie just so we would sit down and shut up for an hour and half while she had some breathing time. Of course we didn’t see it like that, the cinema for us the most exciting thing ever, we could see the full movies of those awesome trailers playing on TV all the time. We got popcorn and ice cream and got to sit in the dark watching  screen 100 times bigger than ourselves.

The first movie I ever saw at the cinema was Scooby Doo when I was probably about 5, and I loved it so much I have re watched it over 20 times since. I loved the corny jokes (which don’t seem corny until you do re-watch it years later) the loud noises and the colourful monsters. Since Scooby Doo, I’ve had many other memorable movie viewings like dressing up for the midnight screening of the final Harry Potter movie with 30 of my high school friends and watching The Incredibles with my dad and brother at the age of 10 after a bad day.

The cinema for me is a happy space, you don’t need to talk to anyone for a prolonged period of time and once you’re in there who really cares if you’re wearing pajama pants honestly? You’re going to stand up after the movie covered in popcorn anyway, I think everyone should just embrace that comfy clothes is the best attire for sitting down and doing nothing publicly for 2 hours. You wouldn’t be wearing jeans and high heels to watch that Lord of the Rings Marathon at home now would you?

I only have one bad cinema experience which I can remember and it stands out so poignantly because it happened to me very recently. It had less to do with cinema etiquette and more to do with my very wrong first impression of a movie I was going to see.  Now I was so excited for this movie I’d seen the trailer months ago and thought it looked very clever and hilarious as it investigated the way humans consume food and other products. It was animated but for adults and as I love myself a good Pixar I thought this would along the same lines. Boy was I wrong.

I don’t go to the cinema all the time, but when I do it’s because I really want to see something. So I convinced 4 of my friends to come watch it with me despite their lack of enthusiasm, which at the time I found ridiculous because how on earth could a Seth Rogen movie go wrong?

You probably know what movie I’m talking about and you’re right, it was Sausage Party.

For anyone who hasn’t seen Sausage Party; don’t.

My friend I was sitting next to said he saw the exact moment I started hating my life choices and questioning everything I’d ever believed in. Without getting into the details of the movie because that will turn this blog post into a scathing review of a movie no one should waste their time on, this movie was terrible. I can honestly say a very misleading trailer lead me to the most disappointing cinema experience of my life. I strongly advise people to do their research and not to trust Seth Rogen because it will ruin happy places such as the Cinema.

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